It's basically a form of censorship, isn't it? If you read this and write that, then you are an unworthy and horrible person who thinks unworthy and horrible thoughts. But who is going to write these new kind of "acceptable" books, to fit this brand new form of saintly kindness? Won't these books be without both plot and character development? Completely bland?
Well it all depends on whether you are considered a good person or not. If you're good, you can write what you want. If you're deemed bad, it doesn't matter what you write: you will be cancelled.
Amen to this. I was just reading Dahl's "The Enormous Crocodile" to my three year old and five year old the other day and I was chuckling over how you would never find a book like this anymore where the crocodile is rhapsodizing about its desire to feel the bones of children crunch and their juicy flesh squish in its mouth. They were wide-eyed but transfixed. They loved it
His books for kids are fabulously nasty. Just make sure you get hold of the older editions, the ones printed before the publisher decided to censor all the good bits.
Very well said. I would say I was a terrible person who once had no friends, being truly ‘mad, bad and dangerous to know’ and I used to set fire to things and now after a lot of therapy I am considered a ‘good’ person. But still an absolute liability because I say what I think and not everyone likes that.
You are so right and wonderful that you write all this for people like me who agree with you but are too feeble to say/write it for ourselves. Excellent post (as usual).
Perfect. Yep yep yep. Also- being kind is easy peasy for civilians. Like falling off a log. It just happens and wveryone feels warm and fuzzy. But For me to be kind I have to drag out my normal face from the back of the cupboard, take some anti anxiety medication, try and pick all the dogs hairs off my clothes, remember how to form words from my mouth and then go out into a world of pain and have some sort of unpredictable exchange with another member of my own species! So I actually deserve a special kindness badge. Perhaps it could say “naval gazing twat makes huge effort”. You rock x
And do those people even deserve all that effort? Unlikely! Personally I think I'm of an age where I can probably just put on a hat and a haughty expression and not have to bother with any more social niceties.
Loved this - more please. Laughed out loud while nodding - unfortunately not safely- just off balance but in agreement. Just also wanted to let you know ‘I’m reading you’ - like watching you but not as menacing. Thank you.
Hi Helen! How lovely to see your name pop up here! So glad you enjoyed the post. It’s been surprisingly popular and now I’m worried that everyone will hate the next one… Ah well. Happy that you’ve avoided falling over, anyway! Thanks for reading xx
Anne Perry didn't bludgeon a girl, she bludgeoned her girlfriend's Mum with a brick in a sock (as seen in the Peter Jackson film Heavenly Creatures- the debut of Kate Winslet- back when Jackson was still cool). My Great-Grandma was a warden in the women's section of Mount Eden prison in Auckland where Perry AKA Juliet Hulme was incarcerated, and Hulme, after her release, used to write my Great-Grandma fond letters.
You are right and another reader also noticed I'd made this mistake. I will add a note into the piece. Thanks for correcting me! And also wow, what a great bit of family history!
There's definitely still time to get into Dahl. His writing for adults is creepy, twisted and brilliant. The Tales of the Unexpected collections are a good place to start.
And now I'm dying to know what is the worst thing you've ever done... and if it's worse than the worst thing I've ever done.
I fucking love you, George. I've been trying to write something like this forever (and have alluded to it in various things I've written over the years), but now I don't have to. (I AM working on a silly piece about writers for this week, though, coincidentally.)
Also. "I DON'T CARE!" Yes. This is what I (figuratively) want to scream every time I see another tedious discussion about Who We Can and Can't Read and Watch rear its unwelcome head. I don't.
I recommend saying it out loud. It's so shocking, it usually ends the conversation! Also, if you say it in a cheery voice, people really can't argue. It makes them look silly.
I've definitely said it out loud in person, many times--on social media, I don't bother to engage any more because wrestling with a pig etc. Sometimes, people are shocked, but it's surprising how often they are relieved, like "oh god so I don't have to care either?"
Ah yes, it's a waste of time trying to have the convo on social media. People like to get in a froth and don't care to be reminded what nonsense it all is.
It's basically a form of censorship, isn't it? If you read this and write that, then you are an unworthy and horrible person who thinks unworthy and horrible thoughts. But who is going to write these new kind of "acceptable" books, to fit this brand new form of saintly kindness? Won't these books be without both plot and character development? Completely bland?
Well it all depends on whether you are considered a good person or not. If you're good, you can write what you want. If you're deemed bad, it doesn't matter what you write: you will be cancelled.
Amen to this. I was just reading Dahl's "The Enormous Crocodile" to my three year old and five year old the other day and I was chuckling over how you would never find a book like this anymore where the crocodile is rhapsodizing about its desire to feel the bones of children crunch and their juicy flesh squish in its mouth. They were wide-eyed but transfixed. They loved it
Ah brilliant! How fantastic.
His books for kids are fabulously nasty. Just make sure you get hold of the older editions, the ones printed before the publisher decided to censor all the good bits.
Fabulously nasty is exactly right. Oh yes, this was an ancient copy. I wouldn't touch any of the bowdlerized versions
Fantastic!
Very well said. I would say I was a terrible person who once had no friends, being truly ‘mad, bad and dangerous to know’ and I used to set fire to things and now after a lot of therapy I am considered a ‘good’ person. But still an absolute liability because I say what I think and not everyone likes that.
A lot of people really don't like that!
You are so right and wonderful that you write all this for people like me who agree with you but are too feeble to say/write it for ourselves. Excellent post (as usual).
What a lovely comment, Ninette! Thank you 💜
Perfect. Yep yep yep. Also- being kind is easy peasy for civilians. Like falling off a log. It just happens and wveryone feels warm and fuzzy. But For me to be kind I have to drag out my normal face from the back of the cupboard, take some anti anxiety medication, try and pick all the dogs hairs off my clothes, remember how to form words from my mouth and then go out into a world of pain and have some sort of unpredictable exchange with another member of my own species! So I actually deserve a special kindness badge. Perhaps it could say “naval gazing twat makes huge effort”. You rock x
And do those people even deserve all that effort? Unlikely! Personally I think I'm of an age where I can probably just put on a hat and a haughty expression and not have to bother with any more social niceties.
Thank you, though, for this kind comment! Xx
I loved that. I was so bad. And made lots of people cry . Now I write stories about it.
Good times.
Ooh, a chequered past! Always intriguing.
I make a sincere effort to at least be an entertaining pain in the ass for my friends and family. :)
What more could anyone ask of you?!
Loved this - more please. Laughed out loud while nodding - unfortunately not safely- just off balance but in agreement. Just also wanted to let you know ‘I’m reading you’ - like watching you but not as menacing. Thank you.
Hi Helen! How lovely to see your name pop up here! So glad you enjoyed the post. It’s been surprisingly popular and now I’m worried that everyone will hate the next one… Ah well. Happy that you’ve avoided falling over, anyway! Thanks for reading xx
Anne Perry didn't bludgeon a girl, she bludgeoned her girlfriend's Mum with a brick in a sock (as seen in the Peter Jackson film Heavenly Creatures- the debut of Kate Winslet- back when Jackson was still cool). My Great-Grandma was a warden in the women's section of Mount Eden prison in Auckland where Perry AKA Juliet Hulme was incarcerated, and Hulme, after her release, used to write my Great-Grandma fond letters.
You are right and another reader also noticed I'd made this mistake. I will add a note into the piece. Thanks for correcting me! And also wow, what a great bit of family history!
I just read that out to a demented writer friend .
God it's us! She said!
Haha oh good, all the demented people are flocking together...
Outstanding. I don’t know about your moral standing but you are certainly a decent writer 🍀
Thanks! (My moral standing is... questionable.)
Loved Ripley. Totally missed out on Dahl. 'We're all better than the worst thing we've ever done': still testing that one
There's definitely still time to get into Dahl. His writing for adults is creepy, twisted and brilliant. The Tales of the Unexpected collections are a good place to start.
And now I'm dying to know what is the worst thing you've ever done... and if it's worse than the worst thing I've ever done.
Without looking it up (too lazy), I seem to remember that Anne Perry murdered her best friend's mother.
Ah, you may be right. I'm drawing on hazy memories of Heavenly Creatures here. You're bound to be right.
I fucking love you, George. I've been trying to write something like this forever (and have alluded to it in various things I've written over the years), but now I don't have to. (I AM working on a silly piece about writers for this week, though, coincidentally.)
Well I love you, too! And you're welcome to cross post - why not? Looking forward to your piece!
Also. "I DON'T CARE!" Yes. This is what I (figuratively) want to scream every time I see another tedious discussion about Who We Can and Can't Read and Watch rear its unwelcome head. I don't.
I recommend saying it out loud. It's so shocking, it usually ends the conversation! Also, if you say it in a cheery voice, people really can't argue. It makes them look silly.
I've definitely said it out loud in person, many times--on social media, I don't bother to engage any more because wrestling with a pig etc. Sometimes, people are shocked, but it's surprising how often they are relieved, like "oh god so I don't have to care either?"
Ah yes, it's a waste of time trying to have the convo on social media. People like to get in a froth and don't care to be reminded what nonsense it all is.
Thanks so much!